No awkward lesbian experiences without me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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