porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
