i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
