Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
