If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize