at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
