As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
