evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
