does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
