i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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