Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
God I need to hump something, right now.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
