your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
