Have you finally orgasmed yet?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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