Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
