Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
