We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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