you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
