Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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