Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
