He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize