pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
