She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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