I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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