One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
