I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
MIDGETS
????
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
