This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
