he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I said "one day" and that day is not today
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
