I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
