There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize