Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
