You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i may or may not be watching the land before time
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She's the barista slut.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
