just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
