so explain again why im purple
no
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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