so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
