I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
