Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
