I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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