she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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