Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
