What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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