Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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