Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I should be sponsored by Trojan
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
