i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
