i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
