awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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