I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
