super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
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