you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He keeps bees of course he's weird
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
