it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
