I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
