Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize