i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
