I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
