That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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