In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
