So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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