You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
