Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
