We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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