can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
