that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
