Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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