He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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