What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
