Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
