so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
