i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
