My friends, they love my intelligence
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
