I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
