he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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