Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
This house was built for laser tag.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
