And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
