We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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