And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Is it penis luge time yet?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
