Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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