hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
